Groundless
The last few years have been a season of rapid transformation, both internally and externally. Internally, I’ve been undergoing a process of massive spiritual excavation thanks to my Depth Hypnosis and Applied Shamanism education and personal work. The amount of growth and shifts has been amazing, but also disorienting and disruptive. Old, deep patterns are finally changing, and that impacts everything.
Externally, our kids are all officially teenagers and my role as a mom has completely changed. Two of our kids are driving. Our oldest will graduate high school this year and fledge into this crazy world. I’ve made a mid-life career change, launching my private Depth Hypnosis and Spiritual Counseling practice full-time, an experience that’s been amazing and beautiful, and also vulnerable. Navigating life as a small business owner feels completely out of my wheelhouse. Meanwhile, my partner got “let go” in August, which was definitely not part of the plan. In fact, his job was the one thing that made everything else feel feasible. But here we are in the midst of a free fall. There’s no guarantee that everything will work out. I cannot control the outcome.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the Buddhist concept of groundlessness. Life is impermanent, the ground is always shifting, and sometimes it feels terrifying. Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön writes:
“We can try to control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability, always hoping to be comfortable and safe. But the truth is, we can never avoid uncertainty. This not knowing is part of the adventure, and it’s also what makes us afraid.”
Groundlessness often feels uncomfortable and I know I’m not alone in wanting to avoid it. For me, it can present in my body as overwhelm, brain fog, panic, hypervigilance, and sleeplessness. Yet Chödrön reminds us that “we use these situations either to wake ourselves up or to put ourselves to sleep. Right now—in the very instant of groundlessness—is the seed of taking care of those who need our care and of discovering our goodness.” These are the thresholds that lead to transformation.
When things feel unstable, it’s easy to retreat to what’s familiar, even if it keeps us stuck. When those somatic feelings come up, it helps me to get curious. I’ll ask myself: Where am I clinging onto something that needs to be released? How is choosing what is familiar keeping me from growing? How can I get out of my head and be present?
Some practices that help me are: meditation, exercising, time in nature, journaling, play, creating, connecting with my inner guidance, paying attention to dreams. These practices don’t erase uncertainty, but they help ground and connect me to something outside of myself. From that grounded, connected place, I can remind myself that groundlessness, while uncomfortable, is profoundly generative.
Photo by clement proust
